A sweet friend of mine recently got engaged and after the “dust” settled a bit from the excitement we started talking one day. She was feeling a little overwhelmed in her position and needed to just chat, vent, and hear a little wedding reality. She is a bride to be, an unbelievably talented and sought after photographer (therefore in the “industry” herself), a business owner, an entrepreneur on many levels, and is used to the juggling act of life. In fact, the last two years have given her more of a juggling act than I knew one person could handle! However, she has done it with more grace and dignity than I’m sure I could have ever shown. But the overall wedding planning had become unnecessarily overwhelming.
The truth is, she has waited many years for these moments…the engagement, the ring, being the fiance, soaking in every second…and her stress came by being bombarded by the questions of what next. Why do we do that as a society? When is the date? Where will you get married? What are your colors? Oh, you’ve only been engaged three days, you better get on it! I feel like sometimes we miss the time to enjoy now because we are looking to what will come next. What happened to being in the moment? I don’t think it is an intentional act, at least not always, I think a lot of people really just want to know what the next steps are in the natural progression, but it seems to come with all aspects of life.
When you are graduating high school…What college will you attend? What will you study? Where will that lead you in the career field? Where do you want to eventually live?
When you are in college and preparing for graduation…What jobs have you applied for? What job are you taking? Where will you live? Is that close to family, or far? Are you dating someone? Is it serious? (I have never been one to understand why the last two are as important at that time in your life, but they seem to go hand in hand.)
When you are seriously dating someone…Have you talked about marriage? When will you get engaged? When will you get married? Where will you live?
When you get engaged…When is the wedding? Where is the wedding? Where will you live?
When you get married…Will you change jobs? When will you have kids? Are you trying to have kids?
When you have kids…Where will they stay? Will you have them in private or public school? Will you have more? When will you have more?
We hear it all the time, life happens fast. But do we really listen and soak it in enough to understand what that means? I want to use this an example to myself, to not only be present in each day, but to really understand the moment of excitement and love that others have to share, and not rush them on to the next. I want to continue to plan for my future, and set goals, but not forget where I am today and how to enjoy today. To all of those engaged couples, enjoy that moment of being a fiance and take a minute to wright down your entire engagement story so that you can one day share that with your loved ones. The wedding will happen, the planning will happen. Find those around you who can help you create the exact day that is you. For those soon to be married, enjoy your wedding day. It will go fast. Eat what you can, and take a box to go. Have a good photographer so that you don’t have to obsess over pictures on your phone all day. Be beautiful, feel beautiful, and dance the night away.
To my sweet friend, enjoy your engagement party with your fiance. And then enjoy your time with him before you are married. You know better than anyone to savor your time, and you are surrounded by a support group who will make sure that you are taken care of! Because you would do the same.
Be in the moment.